Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
