well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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