Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
