am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
