Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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