I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so that wasnt chicken after all
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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