you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
