i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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