Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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