What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
