What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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