he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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