dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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