He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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