I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
MIDGETS
????
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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