I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Your cock deserves a montage
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
