It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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