He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The air was thick with penises
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
