You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
