Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Congratulations! We have a period
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
