think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
