Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
