My room smells like vodka and shame
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
