Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
