If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize