I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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