Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
