u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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