you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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