I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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