Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
