she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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