I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just had sex on a roof
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
