boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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