I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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