Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
party gras won. party gras always wins.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
