Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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