next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
