I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
