Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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