Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
