Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
