he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
