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her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
