I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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