Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
