I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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