I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
