Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
