You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
