my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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