I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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