I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need to calm my uterus...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
