I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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