can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
