i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
