Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
