forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
