she was so not down for the gang bang
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
