T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
