just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
