I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
