i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
