My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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