24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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