do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
