i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
