Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
