yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
