so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
