I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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