My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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