He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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